The Costly Dream

Once you sat admiring someone who had a dream. Your thoughts were, “I wish I was in His shoes”. You painted the walls of your imagination with “I wish I had a dream”. You searched pages of magazines looking for your dream. They said you just had to be it.

You looked and got confused.

Once you listened to a dreamer, you thought it was a great idea.

You sought it with all zeal, nothing over and over. “Does this mean that I am not in the list of those with dreams”? You asked.

A friend suggested you read books titled “Find your dream”,

Reading lines upon lines, wishing while you purred the pages, hoping you find the dream.

Finally, one afternoon, you found something very close to it.

You also stumbled on a friend who said he found his. He told you he found it on a radio station. You glued your ears; you even became a fan of early news cast.

You attended the seminars & conferences. They said it is what you love doing; what you would love to do at grey years, All you could think of was a house by the beach of Bahamas, flings of awards, fleets of business across the spans of America, Africa, Asia and Europe.

They said it was something you do so naturally; what you rather do without been paid!

The only thing that came to mind was joining the choir. "But that’s just for God and church", you thought.

They said you should look closely within, you knew that was not it, but you decided to do it still. All you could find was emptiness and spaces unfilled. They said it was one of the challenges at childhood, but you look back at them and all you could remember was hunger and thirst in your country, no facility, government with corruption, friends who ran with your money, failed classes, and repeated exams.

Ha, JAMB was the top on your list. You were punched in the face on the streets of Lagos.

You were jobless for months. The list is endless, yet that still does not solve your quest for a dream.

A friend then told you to visit a counsellor, a coach, or visit a motivational church but with all your frequent parades, you just got more and more confused. It seems they are all not sure of what they are saying or they have not seen the exceptional cases. You think you are one of them.

One day, you thought you finally got an answer; an old man told you to ask the manufacturer very deeply and sincerely. You fasted and prayed, pleaded and wept, yet no answers. May be like Elijah, it would come like the still voice or in a dream, or with a deep voice behind, or a knock on your head, a slap by your side but none of these arrived….One night, you were gisting with your friends and a thought suddenly hit you like a ping. Yes, Yes, Yes, I have got a dream! You screamed.

All your friends would no longer be at rest. Days after days they waited. You would soon keep shut, they thought. But you never did. Like your other imaginations, they thought, you would wear it out but the dream grew larger. Some said, you were rather going insane, when you told them you saw it in a dream.

Your mother said she had always noticed the dream in you. Your pastor confirmed it while praying. Like heaven rained down and God has smiled on you. Your heart is jubilating; your feet won’t stop dancing. I have found a dream. People are keen at listening. They keep shut when you talk. Others marvel. Some clap for you. Two persons said they want to be like you. Haa, you are gifted screamed a fan. When you slept you saw it, you read it on the wall. No one had written it, you had just painted it in your mind. You tapped your friends, who looked at you in confusion. You taught your siblings who you thought are in the same quest for dreams. Everyone has a dream, you shouted, you had been the confused one all along, the preachers were right. Oh my, oh my …You could talk about it all day.

Some friends have left you, others called you a dreamer, and you seem to be the only one seeing it. Life is made of this, you thought. Days after days, months after months, it still has not happened. One season has ended another one is concluding. Years roll into years, people are beginning to ask, I thought you said you had a dream. You see those without a dream prospering, they are making it, where am I in the picture, you asked again and again. I thought they said, “You would do better.” I thought the gift of a man makes way for him; I thought I would stand before kings and not main men.

Now, you doubting. They are asking how, when, what. Your mouth is shut, you afraid. You wish you never had a dream. You are confused. You are agitated. You are annoyed. You are jealous. You are about to give up. You hate hearing dreams and dreamers

Oluwamitomisin

See also: The Diary of "Nowhere"